This is my Life 06-09-2004
This is my Life 06-09-2004
I refuse to be blamed for actions to which are escalated by the choices of some one else. I will not tolerate some one who doesn’t understand me to decide my actions are my fault. Blame does not exist in all situations. Ha I wish I was like you, so easily content with your surroundings. Not capable of seeing with in the scenery. You’re asleep; I see the big picture to much. Deep in thought with myself is when I am most content. Not clouded by anger, or judgment. Its then, when I move forward with my self.
I have been living in this town for almost a year, and I have met people who seem to be quite sincere. But I am different from them. I don’t choose to different, as much as they would like to say I do, but I wish I was more like them, so well put together and not socially unglued. Their eyes have been blind folded from the truth.
It’s inevitable what will happen. I fore see her breaking up with me cos I am too much to handle, but that is just my opinion. I hope that doesn’t happen. I really want this to work. I refuse to give up, the real question is she willing not to give up? I really hope she can begin to learn how to handle me. How to deal with the situations we go through. I have begun to see that this relationship is a we relationship not an I relationship. I am doing what is in front of me, the best I know how to do. It’s not as simple as it would appear to be. There are sub branches within this realm of the relationship. Sub branches to which I wasn’t involved. No resolution comes out dwelling on what can’t be changed. We must focus on what can change. Acquiring the footwork on the willingness to change. How do you resolve change from someone who is highly sensitive towards you, and takes what you say personal? Which bring me to the question that I seem to ponder to much about what is wrong with me?
I am in two realms at once, reality and fantasy. How things are and how I THINK things are seem to be quite different. That is the issue. Nothing more to write at the moment………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
……. I wanna get loaded, shoot enough drugs into my arm so I can’t feel. Na, that is just a symptom of my madness, I think I’d rather be dead!……………………..Put the gun to my head and paint the wall red with your .357 magnum bullet insults. Keep tearing me apart with your claws of criticism. I on the edge, ready to jump from this skyscraper of lunacy.
-Sid.
Be sure to visit the authors website.. you have anything negetive to say about me, I don't care.
I choose what to see,
I choose what to believe,
Go away if you want to stomp all over my dreams.
I am not who you want me to be,
I am not who you think I should be,
You may find you are like me in some ways, Just leave it at that and Don't idolize what i say. Read more from this author
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