This is my Life (Journal Entry form 11-06-2003)
This is my Life 11-06-2003
My prisoned mind refuses to let me be free.
Each passing day I live with a curse to which haunts me.
I sold my used to be’s and now I want to buy them back.
I don’t wanna exist, and I want my life to end.
I see no light at the end of the tunnel, and I have no hope that my life will get better.
Walking through the struggles………………………
………………..With change comes horrors, a double edge sword my life is.
I am to concerned about other people, what they are thinking about me, whether they truly like me and so fourth.
What I think about me is shit, not sure what to do………………….
Why cant I let go, and why cant I seek out?
It is pathetic that I have to work so hard at life, and others just don’t need to work at it………..or is it?
With all the trials and tribulations in my life I fail to see my progress, no, I fail to see the value of the progress.
With the changing seasons passing me by, I never seem to find a better way.
I have so much to be grateful for.
Is this so simple that my complicated mind can not understand?
So much in my life I have to be happy for.
Why can’t I keep on the path why must I fall from grace? I keep pushing me back on the path of negative disposition, though that “something” doesn’t seem to be strong enough to keep me on the spiritual path, no that’s not it, that “something” is strong enough.
It’s me who is weak, weak in faith. Faith is something I have little of, but anger, fear, and the dark way of life is what appears to be what I have a lot of.
How do you fight the evil when you have so little good? I don’t know how to wield the sword against my evil.
And so another day shall pass with very little progress.
-Sid. 03
Tags: This is my Life, Jeff D, Sicksid, Struggles, Spiritual
Be sure to visit the authors website.. you have anything negetive to say about me, I don't care.
I choose what to see,
I choose what to believe,
Go away if you want to stomp all over my dreams.
I am not who you want me to be,
I am not who you think I should be,
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