define('WP_CACHE', true); //Added by WP-Cache Manager The LoserzClub is home to unconventional free thinking, ideas and expression - Part 2

This Is My life 03-17-2010

It’s been a while since I have written. The days I am spending are composed of numbers, and calculating sums. Each moment of the days are different, just as each math problem is. I have realized though if I do math like I do life I get the math work done. With in the difference of each life moment, you can find similarities. As I discovered math to be just like that. How many times do we skip over a problem in life and go back later to solve? In my self-observation exercises I am aware I do it quite often.

In a book I started reading I came across a statement I thoughly enjoyed. “These things look so to me; to otherwise: Let us say out our uttermost word, and let the all prevailing truth, as it surely will, judge between us”. People care too much about what others say, and as a result I started caring to much of what I say to other people. A problem I am working through. These are not even people in my inner circle, or ones who have a key to my America. I became aware of this problem a few days ago. When I was slammed on the pavement with disbelief, like why the fuck should I worry about choosing my words with people I don’t know. I mean do I really need to impress anyone, or be in fear of people I don’t know? No I don’t. When I am living in fear or having to impress someone, then I am not being myself, I am letting the committee of my mind corrupt me.

It can be so easy to let society corrupt you. I feel even with the moments where society has corrupt me I have shown greater resistance towards corruptions of society. I am more awake then others which only means I can be a productive member of society. So another day passes as I write down what’s on my mind.

-Sid

June 22nd, 2010 by Sid | No Comments »

The Long Road I Walk

The long road I walk down hungry and cold,

to where I go I don’t know.

I can only see a few steps in front of me,

for the darkness is to dark.

Using my thoughts as a map, I make my way through a forest

of abandon buildings,

shut down by the by the republican president that once was.

Searching for others like me, I am convinced I will find them in this town.

Every now and then life throws a curve ball, and I bump into someone with

similar beliefs.

The long road I walk down against the wind and away from the flock.

Sheep’s that follow the shepherd.

The shepherd; the ones that tell you what you need to believe.

Really they should not follow the shepherd, for he is blind to

what’s best for you.

The long road I walk down in societies made up of humans that don’t know how to use their brain.

So they watch T.V., go to collage, or find some one to tell them what to do.

A merry-go-round of lies for societies control, brain wash for the weak minded, not necessarily for the ones who need their brain washed, but for every human on this planet. So now we go back to the shepherd, to have control over everything. Why? For money, power, but most importantly for control. So this is only my opinion, or is it what I have experienced? No matter. I am not telling any one what to do, all I am saying is let your instincts be your guide, cos’ they’re never wrong. Control your own actions. Don’t let others control them. Question what you’re unsure of; define your own right and wrong.

The long road I walk down to see societies greed.

I look around to see robots all around me,

and these robots have too be bright, with such a distraction to keep us from looking

over there

I look in the mirror, and ask myself am I a robot…………………………………..?

Robots don’t wonder if their robots.

I exist in this world to watch.

The tragedy is what I see.

Every place I’ve been a common occurrence I experience.

Are human’s symbionts or parasites?

Could human’s be the virus that will end up killing them?

So another day passes as I write down what’s on my mind.

-Sid

June 13th, 2010 by Sid | No Comments »

This Is My Life 9-22-2009

Walking through this maze I put myself in, I bump into a million mirrors of different I’s from the past. I’ve done so many things and been so many I’s. I’ve met quite many people along the way. Early on in life I always wanted to be an explorer, seeking out adventure. I seem to encounter long ago that life is an adventure. All my life I have been in search for something, come to find out I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, and that feeling bothered me like a splinter in my mind. Every where I went trying to find happiness, comfort, and friends, mean while the splinter getting ever so bigger. I never found it cos’ what I was looking for I was running from. They say you don’t know what you got till it’s gone, and after 7 years later I experienced that. My life so far has been a spiritual adventure. As a kid I wanted to discover new things and so far with this endless adventure I have. So another day passes as I write down what’s on my mind.

-Sid

June 12th, 2010 by Sid | No Comments »

The Fear of control 06-04-2010

The Focus of self observation I have forgotten the last few days. The self remembering has been of a mental masturbation. I must keep remembering the ways of the force. To do that, the breeze that flows through me I must observe. I n this moment I quiet my mind and not dwell on what I can’t control. Leave the results not up to me.

Quieting my mind I must keep doing. The process is a long one. Observing the position I am in doesn’t feel good. The parts of me that needs fixing is not easy. In my observation I am afraid to take power of the things I can. There are times I see my mind spin out of control. To which is the self observation part of the recipe. Self remembering I have to apply in order to work on the change.

The fear I have with having control is a simple one. I don’t wanna turn into a control freak. Here brings us to the balance principle. I must learn how to not go to the extremes, especially when I am in fear. Going to extremes is so easy to do when it’s a habit or routine I have done for so many years. Taking the power back and breaking this habit must be replaced with a variable, or I will still struggle to break the habit. The variable is the ways of the force. I start by feeling the ways of the force so I can walk through the fear. So another day passes as I write down what’s on my mind.

-Sid

June 11th, 2010 by Sid | No Comments »

Pride can be garbage 2010

Existence is futile

Existence is limited

Existence is confined

Like machines running with their briefcase to

their next appointment

I have so much pride,

I wish I could throw it away like garbage.

In fact that’s what it is garbage I collect like a

crazy obsessed packrat.

Afraid to let go

Afraid to give in

Afraid to miss out

Isn’t that what life is all about, fear of missing out on something?

Yeah right

-Sid

Copyright ©2010

June 5th, 2010 by Sid | No Comments »

Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie

I not only enjoy listening to Bob Dylan’s music, but i enjoy reading  his lyrics. Here are the words that Bob Dylan wrote about Woody Gutrie in the Last Thoughts on Woody Guthrie.

Last Thought On Woody Guthrie

When yer head gets twisted and yer mind grows numb
When you think you’re too old, too young, too smart or too dumb
When yer laggin’ behind an’ losin’ yer pace
In a slow-motion crawl of life’s busy race
No matter what yer doing if you start givin’ up
If the wine don’t come to the top of yer cup
If the wind’s got you sideways with with one hand holdin’ on
And the other starts slipping and the feeling is gone
And yer train engine fire needs a new spark to catch it
And the wood’s easy findin’ but yer lazy to fetch it
And yer sidewalk starts curlin’ and the street gets too long
And you start walkin’ backwards though you know its wrong
And lonesome comes up as down goes the day
And tomorrow’s mornin’ seems so far away
And you feel the reins from yer pony are slippin’
And yer rope is a-slidin’ ’cause yer hands are a-drippin’
And yer sun-decked desert and evergreen valleys
Turn to broken down slums and trash-can alleys
And yer sky cries water and yer drain pipe’s a-pourin’
And the lightnin’s a-flashing and the thunder’s a-crashin’
And the windows are rattlin’ and breakin’ and the roof tops a-shakin’
And yer whole world’s a-slammin’ and bangin’
And yer minutes of sun turn to hours of storm
And to yourself you sometimes say
“I never knew it was gonna be this way
Why didn’t they tell me the day I was born”
And you start gettin’ chills and yer jumping from sweat
And you’re lookin’ for somethin’ you ain’t quite found yet
And yer knee-deep in the dark water with yer hands in the air
And the whole world’s a-watchin’ with a window peek stare
And yer good gal leaves and she’s long gone a-flying
And yer heart feels sick like fish when they’re fryin’
And yer jackhammer falls from yer hand to yer feet
And you need it badly but it lays on the street
And yer bell’s bangin’ loudly but you can’t hear its beat
And you think yer ears might a been hurt
Or yer eyes’ve turned filthy from the sight-blindin’ dirt
And you figured you failed in yesterdays rush
When you were faked out an’ fooled white facing a four flush
And all the time you were holdin’ three queens
And it’s makin you mad, it’s makin’ you mean
Like in the middle of Life magazine
Bouncin’ around a pinball machine
And there’s something on yer mind you wanna be saying
That somebody someplace oughta be hearin’
But it’s trapped on yer tongue and sealed in yer head
And it bothers you badly when your layin’ in bed
And no matter how you try you just can’t say it
And yer scared to yer soul you just might forget it
And yer eyes get swimmy from the tears in yer head
And yer pillows of feathers turn to blankets of lead
And the lion’s mouth opens and yer staring at his teeth
And his jaws start closin with you underneath
And yer flat on your belly with yer hands tied behind
And you wish you’d never taken that last detour sign
And you say to yourself just what am I doin’
On this road I’m walkin’, on this trail I’m turnin’
On this curve I’m hanging
On this pathway I’m strolling, in the space I’m taking
In this air I’m inhaling
Am I mixed up too much, am I mixed up too hard
Why am I walking, where am I running
What am I saying, what am I knowing
On this guitar I’m playing, on this banjo I’m frailin’
On this mandolin I’m strummin’, in the song I’m singin’
In the tune I’m hummin’, in the words I’m writin’
In the words that I’m thinkin’
In this ocean of hours I’m all the time drinkin’
Who am I helping, what am I breaking
What am I giving, what am I taking
But you try with your whole soul best
Never to think these thoughts and never to let
Them kind of thoughts gain ground
Or make yer heart pound
But then again you know why they’re around
Just waiting for a chance to slip and drop down
“Cause sometimes you hear’em when the night times comes creeping
And you fear that they might catch you a-sleeping
And you jump from yer bed, from yer last chapter of dreamin’
And you can’t remember for the best of yer thinking
If that was you in the dream that was screaming
And you know that it’s something special you’re needin’
And you know that there’s no drug that’ll do for the healin’
And no liquor in the land to stop yer brain from bleeding
And you need something special
Yeah, you need something special all right
You need a fast flyin’ train on a tornado track
To shoot you someplace and shoot you back
You need a cyclone wind on a stream engine howler
That’s been banging and booming and blowing forever
That knows yer troubles a hundred times over
You need a Greyhound bus that don’t bar no race
That won’t laugh at yer looks
Your voice or your face
And by any number of bets in the book
Will be rollin’ long after the bubblegum craze
You need something to open up a new door
To show you something you seen before
But overlooked a hundred times or more
You need something to open your eyes
You need something to make it known
That it’s you and no one else that owns
That spot that yer standing, that space that you’re sitting
That the world ain’t got you beat
That it ain’t got you licked
It can’t get you crazy no matter how many
Times you might get kicked
You need something special all right
You need something special to give you hope
But hope’s just a word
That maybe you said or maybe you heard
On some windy corner ’round a wide-angled curve

But that’s what you need man, and you need it bad
And yer trouble is you know it too good
“Cause you look an’ you start getting the chills

“Cause you can’t find it on a dollar bill
And it ain’t on Macy’s window sill
And it ain’t on no rich kid’s road map
And it ain’t in no fat kid’s fraternity house
And it ain’t made in no Hollywood wheat germ
And it ain’t on that dimlit stage
With that half-wit comedian on it
Ranting and raving and taking yer money
And you thinks it’s funny
No you can’t find it in no night club or no yacht club
And it ain’t in the seats of a supper club
And sure as hell you’re bound to tell
That no matter how hard you rub
You just ain’t a-gonna find it on yer ticket stub
No, and it ain’t in the rumors people’re tellin’ you
And it ain’t in the pimple-lotion people are sellin’ you
And it ain’t in no cardboard-box house
Or down any movie star’s blouse
And you can’t find it on the golf course
And Uncle Remus can’t tell you and neither can Santa Claus
And it ain’t in the cream puff hair-do or cotton candy clothes
And it ain’t in the dime store dummies or bubblegum goons
And it ain’t in the marshmallow noises of the chocolate cake voices
That come knockin’ and tappin’ in Christmas wrappin’
Sayin’ ain’t I pretty and ain’t I cute and look at my skin
Look at my skin shine, look at my skin glow
Look at my skin laugh, look at my skin cry
When you can’t even sense if they got any insides
These people so pretty in their ribbons and bows
No you’ll not now or no other day
Find it on the doorsteps made out-a paper mache?BR> And inside it the people made of molasses
That every other day buy a new pair of sunglasses
And it ain’t in the fifty-star generals and flipped-out phonies
Who’d turn yuh in for a tenth of a penny
Who breathe and burp and bend and crack
And before you can count from one to ten
Do it all over again but this time behind yer back
My friend
The ones that wheel and deal and whirl and twirl
And play games with each other in their sand-box world
And you can’t find it either in the no-talent fools
That run around gallant
And make all rules for the ones that got talent
And it ain’t in the ones that ain’t got any talent but think they do
And think they’re foolin’ you
The ones who jump on the wagon
Just for a while ’cause they know it’s in style
To get their kicks, get out of it quick
And make all kinds of rnoney and chicks
And you yell to yourself and you throw down yer hat
Sayin’, “Christ do I gotta be like that
Ain’t there no one here that knows where I’m at
Ain’t there no one here that knows how I feel
Good God Almighty
THAT STUFF AIN’T REAL”

No but that ain’t yer game, it ain’t even yer race
You can’t hear yer name, you can’t see yer face
You gotta look some other place
And where do you look for this hope that yer seekin’
Where do you look for this lamp that’s a-burnin’
Where do you look for this oil well gushin’
Where do you look for this candle that’s glowin’
Where do you look for this hope that you know is there
And out there somewhere
And your feet can only walk down two kinds of roads
Your eyes can only look through two kinds of windows
Your nose can only smell two kinds of hallways
You can touch and twist
And turn two kinds of doorknobs
You can either go to the church of your choice
Or you can go to Brooklyn State Hospital
You’ll find God in the church of your choice
You’ll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State Hospital

And though it’s only my opinion
I may be right or wrong
You’ll find them both
In the Grand Canyon
At sundown

 
icon for podpress  Last Thoughts On Woody Guthrie [7:08m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Downloads 5
January 8th, 2010 by Sid | 1 Comment »

Santa

This is too funny. Happy Christmas…..or what ever holiday you celibrate this time of year.

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December 15th, 2009 by Sid | No Comments »

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